Be Kind · Carmen · Enough · Faith · family · friends · Grief · journey · letting go · Loss · memories · Random Stuff · Random Thoughts · Remembering · remembrance · small town · stuff · Sunday · thoughts · Travel · U2 · Uncategorized


Traveling to NW Arkansas for a memorial service, and it has been thirteen years since Carmen was here.

This was a wonderful moment in our travels yesterday. Twelve hours in a car, to attend a service for essentially my little brother has been difficult to say the least.

He would be turning 50 the 24th of this month. Far to young to be gone. Tony was fun, engaging, strong minded, mean, and loving. I will miss him something fierce.

We were out of touch for about fifteen years, but have been talking every couple of weeks recently.

Life is short. I am grateful I knew him and that he was a part of my life.

See you on the other side cowboy. I love you.


2018 · Anxiety · blessings · Christmas · Depression · Empty Nest · family · Holiday · memories · Merry Christmas · Random Thoughts · thankful · traditions · Uncategorized · Work-job

Merry Christmas Eve

This picture was from last year. Everyone was home and we were able to celebrate as a family.

Stephen’s work schedule (and now that he has moved out) it is harder to see him. When we spoke about it last night, he wasn’t sure that he would be able to come by to celebrate Christmas until New Year’s Day.

It’s hard for those who work in the holidays to be able to spend time with family and friends. I don’t normally think about those that are working when I shop or eat out until I have someone close to me that is going through it.

Holidays are not always a happy time for most. It is stressful and typically has disappointments from unmet expectations. When the kids were small, they shared the holiday with my ex husband. I really didn’t want to even have a tree up if they weren’t home but I knew that when they did get home they would want it. Being separated from loved ones over a holiday is so very difficult.

All of this to say, hug your loved ones. Enjoy the moments you are able to have with one another, and remember the greatest gift.


Bariatric Surgery - My Story · German · German Potato Salad · memories · Recipes · Uncategorized · WLS

Potato Nibble 

When my Mom used to make her German Potato Salad, she would make a peel or two have a little more potato on it than she would really like to have.  It was a nibble for me.  

So I had to do the same when I made the potato salad the other day.  Of course, my peels had more potato on them just because I don’t peel potatoes often enough (my Mom would say). Ha.Add some butter and  salt…and it is perfect.My portion size…for my tummy.  Ha.  Not anywhere near the amount I used to have.  Thank goodness.

Loved the flavor memories from this simple dish.  I loved thinking of my Mom while making the potato salad, but especially loved this nibble.  It was something so small, but always a fond memory.


German · memories · Random Thoughts · thoughts · traditions · Uncategorized

Happy May Day!

One of my first memories of being in Germany is a carnival.  Not sure where exactly I was, but was with my sister, and we were sitting on a bench watching kids dancing with spring wreaths on their heads.

I found this article here about May Day in Germany:  German Traditions

Maifest (Mayfest) is one of mankind’s oldest traditions! It is the celebration of nature’s bright reawakening after winter’s cold darkness. The ancient pagan festival eventually took on Christian religious significance, much like Christmas. However, it is now a colorful, joyous part of history and culture in Europe! The custom of the maypole began in the tenth century, when villagers would erect a pole in the local square. They would decorate it with sausages, cakes and multicolored ribbons! The villagers would dance around the maypole, as medieval citizens believed that it would bring good luck and wealth!

I will be taking my math final tonight, so not a lot of celebrating today.  But I may have a bratwurst, and a bite of chocolate?

Happy May Day!


gardens · memories · Tomatoes

My Tomato

I grew up with a smallish garden that my parents lived on year after year. I have missed those vegetables for almost twenty years now.

I have tried many times growing tomatoes. This year I have finally tasted one.

This is my little one. Tasted just like it came from my parents garden. It was yummy.

Trying something different can be a good thing right? I think this year it will be a tomato.


family · memories


David and I traveled to Texas over Thanksgiving.  It was a great drive, enjoyable for both of us. 

Discovering family, meeting cousins – lots of cousins, great food, and conversation of past lives was wonderful for me.  I hadn’t realized how much I needed family. 

 David at Andy’s home (beautiful patio – beautiful home)
 Josh and Garrett
 Aunt Clariece, Aunt Barbara (Jake’s wife), and me.
 Trish, and Allison
 Jordan, David, Susan, Josh, and Cathy
 Garrett and Julie (who is pregnant with twin girls!)
 Andy, Jordan (back of him anyway), Garrett and my Uncle Jake (with Coco)
Sitting out around the fire pit.
me, my Uncle Jake, and David
Sorry about the picture quality —copied over from Facebook.
This was a wonderful visit filled with regret, love, and new beginnings.
Family is important, years and excuses shouldn’t get in the way.
I can offer this from now on…no more excuses for keeping in touch.
friends · memories · Mom · Random Stuff


Why do you need your bestie?  Yes, best friend.

Phone…I have a bench from my Mom that she referred to as a “gossip bench.”  It used to have the phone on it’s shelf, and underneath the shelf a telephone directory (all of her family, and important numbers), and a telephone book.  You could sit by the phone (well, you had to – the phone cord was short and connected to the wall), and chat for hours.  This is before cordless phones, and most certainly, cell phones.  I remember sitting there for hours chatting to friends.  I truly can talk for hours, and hours.  Talk about troubles, funnies, irritants, and just general stuff.

Friend. How often do you talk to your friend?  Sometimes I wish that telephones were still connected to walls.  So you would need to sit and think about what was being said.  You took time to talk.  Not always on the way to the store, or later.

I look at my bench, and always think of my friends.  Now it is a spot for things to be dumped, and not ever in its appropriate place.  Or for the cat to sleep away the hours.  I wish there was a phone, and time to spend hours on the phone with my best friend.

memories · Random Stuff

Reflections of a Favorite Teacher

I follow Beth Moore’s Blog over at Living Proof Ministries.

Not sure where or when my comments will post…but I felt like I needed to share on mine as well.

“Oh, my!

I grew up in a small town in Northwest Arkansas (Prairie Grove), graduating class size of 63, graduated 1984. My favorite class began with Home Economics (basic sewing, cooking), Mrs. Phyllis McGinity. I loved that class, and the way she taught. She made learning of cuts of beef fun. She talked with her hands, and would giggle throughout her lecture portion. Her eyes would close and she would smile when comments weren’t correct, but she would let you work it through. I took basic child education classes, to advanced cooking classes. My senior year, I had a free period, and became her assistant.

She really did mean the world to me. As a graduating gift, she gave me “Apples of Gold.” A beautiful little book with quotes, and scriptures for everything in life. The inscription meant the world to me, and all it said was “Thanks for smiling when I taught.” There was more written, but this meant the most.

I did attend college, but never went past the first year due to many things. I still regret not getting a degree in Home Economics, but believe that I have been gifted by her teachings, and carry many with me daily.
I think I will send her a Thank You. Teachers need to know.
Thanks Beth!
Jerry Ann”

If you have a favorite teacher, and they are still around – send them a note.  I think  it would mean the world to them.

memories · thoughts

Happy Fourth!

Happy Independence Day!
It is a four day weekend for me, 
and I do believe that I love being home.
We are in a place where I need to work, 
but one day I will be able to be at home full time.
Until then…  
I did a little around the house on Friday, but not much.
Yesterday (Saturday), I truly just relaxed. 
Carmen and I watch a couple of movies, and had popcorn.
Today, we stayed home from church, 
but I got up and seemed to get busy.
No one around here likes it when I get “productive”.  
I seem to go from room to room, but after a good bit, 
I have accomplished a lot. 
Not anything specific.  Just stuff.  
Hubby and Stephen will be going fishing later at Hubby’s parents dock.
Carmen is working again (Thank you God!), 
and will meet us later to watch the fireworks put on by
the City of Fort Walton, and then we will turn directions
and watch the City of Destin fireworks. 
When I grew up, I got sparklers.
Really.  That is it.  Oh, and if I had any babysitting money,
I would get those champagne bottle poppers (with paper streamers).
Those were fun. It was enough.  When I got older, I would meet 
friends and attend the show at the Northwest Arkansas Mall.
That was fun, but the traffic was crazy.
I like this holiday. 
We are blessed to have a home.  
A free place to express our thoughts, 
worship where we want.
Have fun and a safe holiday.
beaches · memories

Our beaches

This oil spill is devasting.  We haven’t seen the effects yet, but I fear we will soon.

I love this beach.

From my wedding day.  The beach was beautiful.  Precious memories.

A night out…to the boardwalk.  

Last summer…looking at these…I just want to cry.

Is the oil really worth this?