Ya, I am struggling. To stay positive, to be encouraging, to be who I want to be.
Life happens. I want to snack, have wine, not exercise-stuff, that isn’t positive or encouraging. But reality.
I struggle. Struggle with the day to day, routine crap that can tie you down and sink you in a second.
So, in bed by 9pm and taking all I can to get me through the day.
Today is new. Beginning again. Every day is a new day.
First…let me just say that Lupus sucks.
I am in a battle with insurance and secondary co-pays with my Actemra shots. I have been without my shot for two weeks, and I can honestly say I haven’t felt this bad in a long while. I have five mouth sores, swollen joints and severe fatigue.Ugh. I have to function. I have to go to the max every day. I can’t have this happen. What makes me even more frustrated is the fact that I can’t contact the insurance companies but during the day–my work day!Can someone say “screw me”?! But really though!!
Life in the moment: I am tired, fatigued, I hurt…physically…emotionally drained..and completely done with insurance. I have borrowed spoons for the week from next week, and not sure how many I have left.
Had to vent…sorry…but thanks.
“I LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE, not for what you do. Many voices vie for control of your mind, especially when you sit in silence. You must learn to discern what is My voice and what is not. As My Spirit to give you this discernment. Many of My children run around in circles, trying to obey the various voices directing their lives. This results in fragmented, frustrating patterns of living. Do not fall into this trap. Walk closely with Me each moment, listening for My directives and enjoying My Companionship. Refuse to let other voices tie you up in knots. My sheep know My voice and follow Me wherever I lead.” – Ephesians 4:1-6; John 10:4 – Jesus is Calling by Sarah Young
Thankful for those that love me and put up with my day to day crap. Thankful for those friends who tend to me regardless of my situation.
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34 NIV
Trying to remind myself of this today.
“My reading this morning was out of 2 Corinthians 5. Reminds us to be compelled by the love of Christ. May we love someone today that we don’t even like.” Beth Moore