Bariatric Surgery - My Story · David's Thoughts · family · Uncategorized · WLS

David’s Thoughts

Hello, it’s David again! Today, I wanted to write about another aspect of my life with Jerry that has changed since her weight loss surgery – food and eating. Now, I know that sounds like an obvious point, and I knew that Jerry’s diet would have to change after her surgery, but I didn’t really understand the effect that would have on both of us.

First, a bit of history – throughout the majority of our relationship, both Jerry and I were overweight. Food and eating were a major part of our time together, and we both genuinely enjoyed not just the dining, but dining with each other. And, given our mutual love of food, our dining was rarely a restrained activity. Meals out typically included appetizers, large entrĂ©es, and desserts. Combined with a lack of exercise, it is no surprise that, at our heaviest, together we tipped the scales at over 600 pounds.

Since her surgery, Jerry’s food intake has been a mere fraction of what she used to eat. Which has affected how I eat, simply because I have lost my “partner in crime”! đŸ™‚ When we go out now, if we order an appetizer, it’s only because it is her meal (appetizers are typically small enough for Jerry to eat without hurting herself, or wasting a lot of food.) I do still order full entrĂ©es for myself, but dessert is a rarity now. It’s just not as much fun digging into a piece of chocolate cake by myself…

Now, while I am still quite heavy, Jerry’s significant weight loss has inspired me. As I mentioned in my last post, one of the most exciting parts of her transformation has been my hope for more time with her. However, as she routinely reminds me, if she is going to sticking around, then I better get healthy to make sure I am there with her! And so, I have been trying. Since her surgery, I have been keeping a closer eye on my own eating. I have lost about 30 pounds from my heaviest, but I would still like to lose another 15-20. If for no other reason than to help me maintain the energy I need to keep up with Jerry now!

So, with my posts, I hope I have helped show that weight loss surgery affects more people than just the patient. But every change has been worth it, and continues to be.

David

Bariatric Surgery - My Story · David's Thoughts · family · lupus · Uncategorized

David’s Thoughts

Hi, this is David, Jerry’s husband. She has asked me to put this post together to talk about how her weight loss journey has impacted the people in her life. Well, I have definitely been impacted, so I think I can offer up some observations.

There have been two major effects that immediately come to mind. First, physically, Jerry has SO MUCH MORE energy than she did before! In the past year and a half since her surgery, it’s almost like I have a brand new wife, and a brand new life with her. Before, most weekends were spent with Jerry resting, recovering from the efforts of her work week. More often than not, if we had plans on the weekend, we wound up either canceling, or I would just go alone. I hated it, but I also knew that the only way she would be able to get through the upcoming week was if she had the downtime she needed over the weekend. I know she hated it just as much as I did, but she really didn’t have much of a choice.

Now, she attacks her weekends with a vengeance! The need to “be productive” is deeply ingrained in Jerry, from her German mother, and so these days, things get done. Often times now, *I* am the one that needs a rest. Our children and I both laugh now about how much effort it requires to keep up with mom. After spending so many years on the couch, Jerry is making up for lost time, and I am loving the change.

I will admit, it can be exhausting sometimes, and it did take some time to adjust. When she was heavier, and dealing with the extremes of her Lupus, I gladly assumed a lot of the housework – laundry, dishes, shopping, etc. After her surgery, she started to taking on more and more of the household chores. I felt guilty the first few times she took on the laundry – I was so used to trying to maximize her ability to rest, it was hard to watch her dive in. But, over the months, we have gradually figured out a really good balance between the two of us. She does the dishes, and I put them away. She cooks, and I shop. Neither one of us feels like we are doing too much, and neither one of us worries about the other one doing too much. We really are in a good place, and both so much happier now. đŸ™‚

The second major impact Jerry’s surgery had was more of an emotional one. When she was at her heaviest, and dealing with the worst of her Lupus symptoms, the phrase that often echoed in my head was “10 to 15 years”. That is the estimated life expectancy of someone with severe Lupus. And I couldn’t imaging only having 10 to 15 years more with the person that has made me happier than I had ever been. And so I deliberately focused on savoring and enjoying every moment I had with her. Knowing that, in all likelihood, her disease would steal her from me far too soon, made every moment I spent with her all the more important.

But now, with the loss of so much weight, Jerry’s symptoms are far less intense. She is still affected, and always will be, but not nearly to the level she was before. And now that she has the energy to exercise, and improve her health even more, I am hopeful for a much longer life with her. Make no mistake, I will never have enough time with her, but now I at least look forward to more. And I still savor every moment.

I hope I have provided at least a couple of ways that Jerry’s weight loss has impacted me, and us. In summary, I can say, it was one of the best decisions she could have made, and I will be forever grateful that she did.

David